Bearing in mind that this is my venting blog... be warned.
My last blog alluded to this situation, and it seems I am so gullible that I keep falling for the same thing over and over. Am I so starved for friendship? Answer: apparently. I was not prepared for the isolation I would feel as a pw.
Two families in the church, one suing the other for something in which there is no physical proof. Restraining orders, etc... It's a mess. We've tried to be there for BOTH families and support them both- not take sides... ministering to everyone involved. Donn takes care of the men in the families, and I've been dealing with the wives. We haven't taken sides- we've loved everyone through this- or tried to at least.
I thought I was forming a good friendship with one of the women in particular... we had lunch several times and I felt we were moving way past the basis of our friendship only being me ministering to her... does that make sense? I thought it was reciprocal.
In the course of my obligations as a pw, I met with the other woman, prayed with her and encouraged her. Can you see this coming? Woman #1 "found out" I met with woman #2 and stopped answering my calls or wanting to have anything to do with me. When I did manage to check in with her... she was "super busy" and couldn't talk... yadda yadda yadda.
So. Tired. Of. This. It's high school. So yeah, upon re-evaluation of our "friendship"- it was all about her wanting my husband and I to publically take sides and once she saw that wasn't going to happen... poof.
I have to figure out a way to keep this from hurting... from taking it personally every time. What am I supposed to be learning from this? Not to let anyone close to my heart? It seems with each try I get more discouraged. This past week I found that one "friend" betrayed me and the other wasn't really a friend in the first place.
I know God is my refuge and hiding place and that He can fill the holes I feel. He hears my cries. Lord, give me your strength and your peace. I know this life isn't all about me and that there's a purpose for it. Give me the grace to learn what you are teaching me.
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1 comment:
Don't you dare hide that beautiful heart of yours! Its what makes you so good at what you do.
I am convinced that many people do not understand the nature of true friendship. And one of the down sides of ministry is there is no shut-off switch. Many are unable to separate the role from the person.
Every pastor's wife I respect has pretty much told me to seek my close friendships with women who do not attend my church.
Keep your chin up friend. I'm praying you find a bosom friend and kindred spirit there VERY soon!
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