Weeds be Gone

A friend pointed out to me (thanks Breanna) what a wonderful shepherd my husband is for protecting me from this. And he is. I had overlooked that.

He went yesterday evening and spoke with my "friend" for over an hour. She admitted everything, and then some. Said she knew how stupid it was, how sorry she was, and that she wouldn't blame me if I never spoke to her again. Donn said she cried the whole time.

At this point, her tears don't move me. Looking back, I feel like she has lied to me about other things as well- but I'm not going to give it the time of day anymore. I feel like I can be done with this, once I get the thoughts out of my head. I know... whatsoever is pure, noble, righteous... think on these things. I'm working on forgetting. I will be kind to her if I see her- though I doubt she will continue at our church. Eventually when we speak or correspond, I will encourage her to be involved at a church- whether it's ours somewhere else. I'm going to call our mutual friend Kerri and let her know (with no details) that we have had a falling out and have worked through it as best as possible, but that our friend will be needing someone to lean on and that she should check on her. I will not allow any details to get out. The only people that know are my husband, the youth/children's pastor out of safety and necessity, and one dear and trustworthy friend of mine who has no contact with her at all. If I don't have an outlet other than my husband on this one, I'll drive us both crazy.

I haven't even begun to deal with my feelings towards my nephew yet. We have had several (large) and hurtful incidents with him since my brother's death two years ago. I'm sure some of it is due to his personal pain concerning his parent's divorce when he was 11 and then his dad's death when he was 16- but he struggled with arrogance and rebellion while my brother was alive- so this isn't all about that. And my relationship with him isn't something I can cleanly cut out of my life... he's all we have left of my brother. I will work through it and deal with it as we get together, but I have a feeling that won't be until the next major holiday when the family gets together. Until then, I'll be praying. I don't feel like I can talk with him lovingly and objectively right now, especially as unapologetic as my sister said he is.

We aren't telling our 75 year old parents for fear it will affect their fragile health. They cling to our nephew (their grandson) and can't take any negative news concerning him. My sister and I will practice our Steel Magnolia routine and pull each other through just like we did when David died so suddenly. What else are sisters for?

All in all... in the midst of a horrible situation, God has taken care of us. Of course he has.

I think I'm going to go outside today and thank Him for that as I pull some weeds... literally and metaphorically.