Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Vacation Week: Temporary Sanity Regained
Had a great week in New York with a girlfriend. I loved it and now am considering adding it to my list of places to run away to. We flew in Monday morning and came back home Friday night. It was wonderful- a week away without church stress (almost).
I say almost because I got a nasty-gram on Friday morning via Facebook. I had a 15-minute time span where I let it ruin my trip, and then I decided that I wasn't going to do that. That this stupid person wasn't going to take this week away from me. As a preface, all through the week I journaled our activities on Facebook. Lots of friends and family were following. I posted tons of pics and comments, and got a lot of comments back. It was all lighthearted and humorous- a look at NYC through my eyes, chronicling our trip to the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, our dining experiences, window shopping at Tiffany's, and a Broadway Play. Then the following appeared in my message in-box on Friday morning:
Dear A: Just a thought here. Would like to let you know why I am removing you as a friend on FB. The posts about your lavish spending and extravagant outings, is leaving a gross taste in my mouth. Personally, I don't need to know about every detail about your jaunt to NY. What was probably most disturbing was your comment about sweet baby Jesus in regard to a cheesecake you were eyeing. I feel that the message you are portraying is that it is OK to have an appetite for worldly pleasures. Please consider my opinion as a former youth group student of yours.
Respectfully, M.
I was stunned, hurt and upset. I would just like to point out that had I ANY profession other than a pastor's wife, I would never have received this criticism. Life in the fishbowl. Journaling on FB like I did is something I would have done whether I was a pw or not. The only thing I can see as a fair criticism was that I quoted a line from a Will Ferrell movie and used the term "sweet baby Jesus in a manger" after tasting the most incredible piece of cheesecake I'd ever had. I wasn't swearing (it was an over-exaggerated "awesome!")- merely comparing two wonderful (albeit inequal) things. So, though I don't agree with her assessment on that point, I can see her side. I should probably be more careful about what I throw out there. But the rest... not so much.
So here's how I replied: Thanks for your thoughts, M- I'm really sorry that anything I said offended you. As for the lavish spending, the friend that brought me to New York has paid for everything- hotel, food, and airfare as a gift because god has blessed her financially. So the "lavish spending and extravagant outings" are certainly not as they appear to you. Sometimes god blesses us by putting people in our lives who can bless us. And that's what my friend Brenda has done for me- blessing me with a once in a lifetime trip that I could have never afforded in a hundred years. As for the frequent postings, it's my way of journaling the trip on the go. Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm not boasting- just sharing my joy and excitement with friends and family who are following and happy that I've been given this opportunity. It's not a sin to have fun and enjoy and remember things- or to share them with others- especially those who are interested. I will admit that your judgemental assumptions are hurtful. I'm not going to get into a back-and-forth exchange on this subject, so thanks for sharing your thoughts and I feel that I've said all I want to say as well. Sincerely, A.
I wanted to drop a little Matthew 7:1 on her... but I decided not to preach and to rise above.
I felt better after I sent my reply... but the whole situation just sucks. As strongly as I feel that I've done nothing wrong, this reinforces to me that everything we in the ministry do and say is watched. Some are watching out of admiration; some are watching and waiting for us to trip up. Should I have not journaled on FB? I don't think God wants me to change who I am- and that was (and is) who I am; I share the good things in my life. This whole thing makes me angry, but again, I'm getting better and better at letting things roll off my back. It just stinks that that's part of my job description.
I say almost because I got a nasty-gram on Friday morning via Facebook. I had a 15-minute time span where I let it ruin my trip, and then I decided that I wasn't going to do that. That this stupid person wasn't going to take this week away from me. As a preface, all through the week I journaled our activities on Facebook. Lots of friends and family were following. I posted tons of pics and comments, and got a lot of comments back. It was all lighthearted and humorous- a look at NYC through my eyes, chronicling our trip to the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, our dining experiences, window shopping at Tiffany's, and a Broadway Play. Then the following appeared in my message in-box on Friday morning:
Dear A: Just a thought here. Would like to let you know why I am removing you as a friend on FB. The posts about your lavish spending and extravagant outings, is leaving a gross taste in my mouth. Personally, I don't need to know about every detail about your jaunt to NY. What was probably most disturbing was your comment about sweet baby Jesus in regard to a cheesecake you were eyeing. I feel that the message you are portraying is that it is OK to have an appetite for worldly pleasures. Please consider my opinion as a former youth group student of yours.
Respectfully, M.
I was stunned, hurt and upset. I would just like to point out that had I ANY profession other than a pastor's wife, I would never have received this criticism. Life in the fishbowl. Journaling on FB like I did is something I would have done whether I was a pw or not. The only thing I can see as a fair criticism was that I quoted a line from a Will Ferrell movie and used the term "sweet baby Jesus in a manger" after tasting the most incredible piece of cheesecake I'd ever had. I wasn't swearing (it was an over-exaggerated "awesome!")- merely comparing two wonderful (albeit inequal) things. So, though I don't agree with her assessment on that point, I can see her side. I should probably be more careful about what I throw out there. But the rest... not so much.
So here's how I replied: Thanks for your thoughts, M- I'm really sorry that anything I said offended you. As for the lavish spending, the friend that brought me to New York has paid for everything- hotel, food, and airfare as a gift because god has blessed her financially. So the "lavish spending and extravagant outings" are certainly not as they appear to you. Sometimes god blesses us by putting people in our lives who can bless us. And that's what my friend Brenda has done for me- blessing me with a once in a lifetime trip that I could have never afforded in a hundred years. As for the frequent postings, it's my way of journaling the trip on the go. Anyone who really knows me knows that I'm not boasting- just sharing my joy and excitement with friends and family who are following and happy that I've been given this opportunity. It's not a sin to have fun and enjoy and remember things- or to share them with others- especially those who are interested. I will admit that your judgemental assumptions are hurtful. I'm not going to get into a back-and-forth exchange on this subject, so thanks for sharing your thoughts and I feel that I've said all I want to say as well. Sincerely, A.
I wanted to drop a little Matthew 7:1 on her... but I decided not to preach and to rise above.
I felt better after I sent my reply... but the whole situation just sucks. As strongly as I feel that I've done nothing wrong, this reinforces to me that everything we in the ministry do and say is watched. Some are watching out of admiration; some are watching and waiting for us to trip up. Should I have not journaled on FB? I don't think God wants me to change who I am- and that was (and is) who I am; I share the good things in my life. This whole thing makes me angry, but again, I'm getting better and better at letting things roll off my back. It just stinks that that's part of my job description.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
My wit's end...
I just felt my blood pressure rise about 100 points. I am so stressed with my job- which has amounted to managing the money at the church along with the other secretarial duties. Coming into a building project has blown the financial end of things into major proportions for me- and amplified how un-qualified I feel for this position.
We're at that office on a Saturday night putting together a presentation for our 5th anniversary since we launched and going over figures and tracing donations, etc...I really don't feel like I can take much more of this. I have a headache, my heart is hammering- this sucks. And I suck at it.
I have James 1:5 tacked to my bulletin board over my desk: "God is always ready to give us abundant wisdom when we ask for the right reasons." I don't know a right-er reason than this... finances have never been my forte... and I'm scared to death I'm going to screw something up.
Jesus, please either make me smarter, or rescue me from these numbers- I don't care which you do, but I can't go on like this. I am begging for rescue. I hate my job but we desperately need my salary. Please help me.
We're at that office on a Saturday night putting together a presentation for our 5th anniversary since we launched and going over figures and tracing donations, etc...I really don't feel like I can take much more of this. I have a headache, my heart is hammering- this sucks. And I suck at it.
I have James 1:5 tacked to my bulletin board over my desk: "God is always ready to give us abundant wisdom when we ask for the right reasons." I don't know a right-er reason than this... finances have never been my forte... and I'm scared to death I'm going to screw something up.
Jesus, please either make me smarter, or rescue me from these numbers- I don't care which you do, but I can't go on like this. I am begging for rescue. I hate my job but we desperately need my salary. Please help me.
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