Betrayal.

Not too long ago, I walked with one of my good friends through her divorce. She's about 36 or 37 with two kids- has been at our church since basically the beginning, and we've always been close. She's loud, fun, and sometimes extremely embarrassing to me, because I prefer not to be the center of attention. But I've tried hard to be a good friend to her, especially through her divorce. And it's been exhausting- social services was involved, the police were involved... you name it. It has not been fun. A month ago several people from the church, myself and my husband included spent about 8 hours helping her move to a new place... and then Donn and I spent another three getting her sound/tv/sattlelite hooked up. We have invested a lot in this relationship.

It's been difficult because in the throes of her divorce, she felt "the church" wasn't doing enough for her. She cussed me out (loudly) in the church parking lot with tons of people around- letting me know that she thought all this stuff we spouted was BS. Honestly at that point, I didn't know what else we could be doing for her- she wouldn't ask for help and was often offended when it was offered. She was putting the blame on the church instead of turning to God- she was trying to fill the hole in her life with the wrong things- people. Anyway, we worked through that, and I've been busting my butt ever since trying to "be there" for her.

Last Summer two of our nephews came to stay with us for a couple of months. Both were 17. They went to a church camp with us, which this friend of mine also sponsored at. She had them over several times to watch movies. They both returned home to begin their senior year in early August. One of my nephews who was here last summer lives with my sister since our brother's death two years ago. Just a week ago he got into trouble with my sister and had his cell phone taken away.

The next day my sister, being the wise woman that she is, went through his messages. She found sexting. Lots of it. With lines like, "I can't wait to be with you again." And pictures. Of nipples and such. She couldn't put the name to the girl and thought maybe it was someone from last summer (at my house). Did a little digging, talked to our nephew and he admitted it.

It was my 37 year old "friend." Yeah. Sexting with my then 17 year old nephew. Sending him pics of her breasts. He has since turned 18. The latest incident was this past april. That's like two months ago. He told my sister that basically everything but penetration happened.

I finally know the meaning of the word flabbergasted. This is a woman who told someone two days ago that I was her best friend. I don't mean to make this about me- but I feel so incredibly betrayed. My nephew is arrogant and fine- this was a conquest for him. I am beginning to wonder if he is beyond reach.

I told my pastor-husband who is beyond angry, but much calmer than I am. Luckily I'm down with strep throat right now and don't have the energy to kill her at present. But there's going to be a confrontation. My sister saw the messages, my brother in law saw the messages, and my nephew admitted it. My husband said we need to pray before we go into this. He named all the things she could be arrested for (he was a cop for 10 years)... and she has worked with our teenagers for heaven's sake! Looking back, she has lied to me in the past about things like this- when I felt she was getting too close to some of the teens.

Is this grounds to ask someone to leave a church? I understand she will NEVER work with youth or children again. But as mad as I am, I know she needs Jesus. I'm afraid if we ask her to leave our fellowship because I can't stand the sight of her, she'll never return to church. I don't want to be responsible for that. And once I've said what I have to say to her, I can treat her with civility and kindness. I can keep her dirty little secret and not ruin her reputation. I can love her as Christ wants me to, but I will never be her friend again. My nephew will not be returning to stay with me again. We can meet at my mom's house about 80 miles away so there won't be a danger of them getting together.

I'm so angry I can't even pray about this yet. I guess I need to be praying for God to help me pray about this.

Advice anyone? What in the world do we do? How do we handle this? What is godly? Is threatening her wrong (something along the lines of "if you turn this back on the church or me not "being there for you" anymore- I will be happy to explain to whoever you complain to the reason for my withdrawal" and threaten to expose what she did? or should that come out regardless?) Please pray that I will hear from God about this, and quickly... because we aren't going to wait long to confront her.