It's been crazy and my heart hasn't been in much of anything. I've been working hard on therapy since my knee surgery- I'm at a little over a 90* bend now and pushing harder every day. It hurts like nothing I've felt before. The tightness- hard to explain. We are going to end up owing about $4,000 on this- which is a really good deal considering the total cost of the surgery!
My nephew is now living with us- long story. Trouble at home... homeschooling from my house... he's been here one week. On Sunday, he and my son were driving to pick up a friend for youth group (he's 17, my son is 14) and he lost control of our car and rolled it 3 times. They are both ok, and very lucky to be alive. My son got the worst of it with a bad concussion and a broken nose. They both are cut up and look like they lost a fist fight. But they are alive. They kept my son overnight at the hospital and I stayed with him. I'm sure there's going to be a fight between our health insurance and the auto insurance as far as the bill- I'm letting my husband deal with all of that. But there's no telling what we're going to end up owing and how it will affect our future premiums. Oh, and of course it was the car with the working air conditioning. sigh. We are not replacing the car- we're going to make due with our van for a while- until we're out of debt and can pay cash for a used second car. This puppy has to hold together for another year or so. I'm so glad they're ok I don't care about the car or the insurance or the money that we're going to owe on this.
This all follows the flood in our basement about a month ago which we are still working with insurance to get everything taken care of. We're getting a new roof out of it because of hail damage and we have to have carpet and window work done as well as some re-grading of our property to prevent this from happening again. I don't know if all of our insurance money is going to cover all we HAVE to do.
We are having a garage sale on Saturday selling a lot of big stuff to try to help out- we are selling our really nice pool table and some other misc. furniture... and next week, my wedding ring is going on Craigslist.
Oh yeah, and I turn 40 on Thursday. Yeah. Kick me while I'm down. Maybe it will slip quietly by... sigh.
Anyway, pray for us... we are feeling this attack! Blessings on you all and I'll check back when I'm not hanging on by a thread anymore.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Please Excuse
the funky header... I suck at graphics. My husband is supposed to help me at some point in the next few days get it fixed.
Good things that happened this week:
-Went to church for the second week in a row and we had huge numbers!
-Haven't fallen down the deck stairs again and thought I was going to die from the pain, thus spending another full day in a drug-induced haze.
-Found out that the plate of Shannon's that I broke while I was falling down the stairs only cost her $1.99. I thought it was a $40 plate from Pottery Barn or something!
-Am completely over the "Super Infection" C-Diff and Ulcerated Colitis that I caught in the hospital (in other words: I'm eating normal food with no repercussions!)
- Am needing the Percocet less and less- ditto the Valium.
- I start therapy three times a week tomorrow. I'm scared. I've heard they are going to make me cry. But I'm gonna be tough.
- My son's 8th grade football team just won their second game- he's really emerging as a leader on the team. It's so cool to see.
Uncomfortable things that happened this week:
- Three letters: CPM. (That's my Continual Passive Motion machine). owie.
- I am avoiding a situation with someone that I need to face up to... but I don't want to get any more involved with her. Have you ever just been "done" with someone? And is it ok to be "done" with someone as a PW?
- An older guy (well, older than me- he's like 45-50) has been hitting on me every week at church and making me really uncomfortable (and yes, he knows I'm the PW!). I'm using counter-measures to avoid ANY alone time with him, even in a crowd! ick.
I guess that's it for now... peace.
Good things that happened this week:
-Went to church for the second week in a row and we had huge numbers!
-Haven't fallen down the deck stairs again and thought I was going to die from the pain, thus spending another full day in a drug-induced haze.
-Found out that the plate of Shannon's that I broke while I was falling down the stairs only cost her $1.99. I thought it was a $40 plate from Pottery Barn or something!
-Am completely over the "Super Infection" C-Diff and Ulcerated Colitis that I caught in the hospital (in other words: I'm eating normal food with no repercussions!)
- Am needing the Percocet less and less- ditto the Valium.
- I start therapy three times a week tomorrow. I'm scared. I've heard they are going to make me cry. But I'm gonna be tough.
- My son's 8th grade football team just won their second game- he's really emerging as a leader on the team. It's so cool to see.
Uncomfortable things that happened this week:
- Three letters: CPM. (That's my Continual Passive Motion machine). owie.
- I am avoiding a situation with someone that I need to face up to... but I don't want to get any more involved with her. Have you ever just been "done" with someone? And is it ok to be "done" with someone as a PW?
- An older guy (well, older than me- he's like 45-50) has been hitting on me every week at church and making me really uncomfortable (and yes, he knows I'm the PW!). I'm using counter-measures to avoid ANY alone time with him, even in a crowd! ick.
I guess that's it for now... peace.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Over a year ago...
I wrote these two posts about my brother's death:
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
11:22 pm: Sitting with my big brother at Hermann Memorial Hospital in Houston. He was an amazing man and he loved me and my sister so much. He took really good care of us and now it's our turn to take care of him. David was in a motorcycle accident on Saturday, February 9 and he died today with a traumatic brain injury. He is here as an organ donor and my sister and I are going to stay with him for the next 24 to 36 hours until he goes into his final surgery. We are holding his hands and making sure his toes stay warm and covered up and just being with him for a little bit longer. Perched on his pillow, there is a valentine on one side of his head and a picture of the three of us on the other side. I'm so glad I'm here- I wouldn't be anywhere else. I love you, DuDu. I'll see you in heaven...
2:30 am: Still here~David's final surgery has been pushed back from 3am to 5:30am due to the logistics of getting all the different transplant teams and surgeons that need to be here all here at the same time. We will have been here in the transplant center about 31 hours with him when he goes to surgery- fighting sleep and wanting to stay awake to be with him every second. So far, his amazing nurse Amy has placed his heart, his liver, his pancreas, and both kidneys. He has continued to stay on life support to keep his organs healthy and functioning, but he's clinically been gone since 6:25 yesterday afternoon. It's been so good to be here with him and continue to take care of him- and it's reassuring to still see his chest rising and falling for a little while longer. He is starting to look more like himself- the swelling in his face has gone down a lot in the past couple of days and that's reassuring too. It's going to be so hard to say goodbye when they come to get him in about 5 hours. Jesus, give us strength to let him go- we know he is already yours and happier than he's been in a long time. Thank you for the little bit of extra time we have had with him.
It's been 19 months since I wrote that and just this week, I got something in the mail that brought it all back- but in a sweet, tender way. I received a package from Carla, his wife with a note that said this:
"Angie, I was going through more boxes and found these. I thought you might like to have them. I didn't find anything for anyone else that he had saved. You were very special to Dave and he loved you very much! Carla"
Included in the package were random pictures I had drawn for him, valentines cards, pictures of me from camping trips (particularly the one where he was supposed to be watching me when I was 2 and I jumped off a picnic table and knocked out both my front teeth), and just all kinds of things a little sister gives her big brother. Here are a few samples:
A picture I drew at age 7 for him when David and my dad built our family dog Misty her dog house- Misty has a caption over her head that says, "I think this is my lucky day!"
A letter I wrote David when he was away at college that says, "Dear David, Merry Christmas! I love you very much. I hope you have a very merry Christmas with lots of silver bells and a stocking full of goodies. I am waiting up for Santa and will put in a good word for you! Lotsa' Love, Angie
There was a child's classroom valentine that I signed "To David from Angela your sister in 2nd grade."
There was a 1st grade spelling list from May 3, 1977 with all ten words listed out.
There were rhyming worksheets where I had to color the objects that rhymed (bat, cat).
There was a "God's Eye" craft that I made at Camp Pearl Wheat in Kerville, TX for him to hang in his car... which he did for a year or so.
There is a birthday card that I colored him when I was eight years old. Inside it says: "Dear Old Man, How do you feel? Let's get on with the business. I like you Mr. 20 year old man. Love, Angie"
There is the long letter I wrote him when I was 13 in 1982 that says in part, "Now I want you to enjoy yourself up there [in New Orleans where he had just moved], but henceforth frometh my lips cometh a command: Go git yerself a girlie! Open your mouth and ask one out for me, ok? Love, your charming, loveable, adorable, cute, sweet, pretty, funny and modest baby sister (angie)!"
And finally, my three favorite letters to him (and his pet peeves):
"Dear David, I am sory I steped on your foot! You know nobdoys perfete. Anyway I am realy sory!! Love Angie (I must have been in first or second grade- hence the spelling!)
This one is typed- I was maybe in 3rd grade and I walked into his room and saw his christmas present for me not yet wrapped sitting on his bed- it was a Crystal Gayle album: "To David. I forgot to knock again. Some Day I Will Learn! Please Forgive Me. Angela PS.I hope you like flowers, here are some for you: **********************************************************************************
Lastly, I must confess that I am a bread lover. Always have been. Apparently I like gravy as evidenced in the following letter, I think I was about 10 years old... it's in cursive, but not dated:
"Dear David, You know at supper? When you said all I do is eat bread and gravy? Well just right now I don't realy care if I have a big fat toe or I'm ten pounds over weight. If it irratates you just don't look at me! Love, Angie. PS: I really love you.
When I opened the envelope from Carla, I read her note and waited to look at anything until my husband could sit and look at it with me because I knew I would lose it. And I did... but it was sweet memories of a sweet relationship... my eyes are tearing now thinking of it and looking at these things again. Just to know that he saved them- he kept them all together in a box of things that I had given him and made for him... helps me, touches me, heals me. What a sweet, unexpected blessing.
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
11:22 pm: Sitting with my big brother at Hermann Memorial Hospital in Houston. He was an amazing man and he loved me and my sister so much. He took really good care of us and now it's our turn to take care of him. David was in a motorcycle accident on Saturday, February 9 and he died today with a traumatic brain injury. He is here as an organ donor and my sister and I are going to stay with him for the next 24 to 36 hours until he goes into his final surgery. We are holding his hands and making sure his toes stay warm and covered up and just being with him for a little bit longer. Perched on his pillow, there is a valentine on one side of his head and a picture of the three of us on the other side. I'm so glad I'm here- I wouldn't be anywhere else. I love you, DuDu. I'll see you in heaven...
2:30 am: Still here~David's final surgery has been pushed back from 3am to 5:30am due to the logistics of getting all the different transplant teams and surgeons that need to be here all here at the same time. We will have been here in the transplant center about 31 hours with him when he goes to surgery- fighting sleep and wanting to stay awake to be with him every second. So far, his amazing nurse Amy has placed his heart, his liver, his pancreas, and both kidneys. He has continued to stay on life support to keep his organs healthy and functioning, but he's clinically been gone since 6:25 yesterday afternoon. It's been so good to be here with him and continue to take care of him- and it's reassuring to still see his chest rising and falling for a little while longer. He is starting to look more like himself- the swelling in his face has gone down a lot in the past couple of days and that's reassuring too. It's going to be so hard to say goodbye when they come to get him in about 5 hours. Jesus, give us strength to let him go- we know he is already yours and happier than he's been in a long time. Thank you for the little bit of extra time we have had with him.
It's been 19 months since I wrote that and just this week, I got something in the mail that brought it all back- but in a sweet, tender way. I received a package from Carla, his wife with a note that said this:
"Angie, I was going through more boxes and found these. I thought you might like to have them. I didn't find anything for anyone else that he had saved. You were very special to Dave and he loved you very much! Carla"
Included in the package were random pictures I had drawn for him, valentines cards, pictures of me from camping trips (particularly the one where he was supposed to be watching me when I was 2 and I jumped off a picnic table and knocked out both my front teeth), and just all kinds of things a little sister gives her big brother. Here are a few samples:
A picture I drew at age 7 for him when David and my dad built our family dog Misty her dog house- Misty has a caption over her head that says, "I think this is my lucky day!"
A letter I wrote David when he was away at college that says, "Dear David, Merry Christmas! I love you very much. I hope you have a very merry Christmas with lots of silver bells and a stocking full of goodies. I am waiting up for Santa and will put in a good word for you! Lotsa' Love, Angie
There was a child's classroom valentine that I signed "To David from Angela your sister in 2nd grade."
There was a 1st grade spelling list from May 3, 1977 with all ten words listed out.
There were rhyming worksheets where I had to color the objects that rhymed (bat, cat).
There was a "God's Eye" craft that I made at Camp Pearl Wheat in Kerville, TX for him to hang in his car... which he did for a year or so.
There is a birthday card that I colored him when I was eight years old. Inside it says: "Dear Old Man, How do you feel? Let's get on with the business. I like you Mr. 20 year old man. Love, Angie"
There is the long letter I wrote him when I was 13 in 1982 that says in part, "Now I want you to enjoy yourself up there [in New Orleans where he had just moved], but henceforth frometh my lips cometh a command: Go git yerself a girlie! Open your mouth and ask one out for me, ok? Love, your charming, loveable, adorable, cute, sweet, pretty, funny and modest baby sister (angie)!"
And finally, my three favorite letters to him (and his pet peeves):
"Dear David, I am sory I steped on your foot! You know nobdoys perfete. Anyway I am realy sory!! Love Angie (I must have been in first or second grade- hence the spelling!)
This one is typed- I was maybe in 3rd grade and I walked into his room and saw his christmas present for me not yet wrapped sitting on his bed- it was a Crystal Gayle album: "To David. I forgot to knock again. Some Day I Will Learn! Please Forgive Me. Angela PS.I hope you like flowers, here are some for you: **********************************************************************************
Lastly, I must confess that I am a bread lover. Always have been. Apparently I like gravy as evidenced in the following letter, I think I was about 10 years old... it's in cursive, but not dated:
"Dear David, You know at supper? When you said all I do is eat bread and gravy? Well just right now I don't realy care if I have a big fat toe or I'm ten pounds over weight. If it irratates you just don't look at me! Love, Angie. PS: I really love you.
When I opened the envelope from Carla, I read her note and waited to look at anything until my husband could sit and look at it with me because I knew I would lose it. And I did... but it was sweet memories of a sweet relationship... my eyes are tearing now thinking of it and looking at these things again. Just to know that he saved them- he kept them all together in a box of things that I had given him and made for him... helps me, touches me, heals me. What a sweet, unexpected blessing.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
20
Twenty staples out today... one by one... sting-y, but not unbearable. The scar looks good and will most likely be a nice thin line. The doctor and PA marveled at my progress- especially since the last time they saw me I had ultra-low blood pressure, fever, angry intestines, and hair that hadn't been washed for five days. Bleh. Bonus: I get to take a real shower tomorrow with no garbage bag taped to my leg!
My blessing of a friend Brenda Moore took me and we had a great time- stopping for Starbucks afterward to celebrate. I had my ultra-favorite Sweetened Green Tea Lemonade (you should try it) and a celebratory chocolate chip cookie. I have lost ten pounds since the surgery- I seriously think they had me full of bags and bags of IV fluid that I have since peed out. :)
My work continues as I try to bend to 110* (I'm still only on 85* with a great deal of pain and drugs). More importantly, I have to be able to get it completely straight. I've been walking incorrectly for so long (with a bent leg that couldn't straighten)- I fear that's going to be where the real pain and work comes in. And all of this has to be accomplished before scar tissue sets in and they have to "break through" it... which doesn't sound fun at all. However, the blessing in all of this is that my leg is greatly straightened... it had started to curve inward at the knee- the bone was collapsing because of arthritis. I'm really excited about having two straight legs again!
Prayers are appreciated as I continue to heal. :)
My blessing of a friend Brenda Moore took me and we had a great time- stopping for Starbucks afterward to celebrate. I had my ultra-favorite Sweetened Green Tea Lemonade (you should try it) and a celebratory chocolate chip cookie. I have lost ten pounds since the surgery- I seriously think they had me full of bags and bags of IV fluid that I have since peed out. :)
My work continues as I try to bend to 110* (I'm still only on 85* with a great deal of pain and drugs). More importantly, I have to be able to get it completely straight. I've been walking incorrectly for so long (with a bent leg that couldn't straighten)- I fear that's going to be where the real pain and work comes in. And all of this has to be accomplished before scar tissue sets in and they have to "break through" it... which doesn't sound fun at all. However, the blessing in all of this is that my leg is greatly straightened... it had started to curve inward at the knee- the bone was collapsing because of arthritis. I'm really excited about having two straight legs again!
Prayers are appreciated as I continue to heal. :)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
By Your Stripes...
I drug myself to work today and got payroll done and paid the bills that couldn't wait. Paying bills on Percocet makes me nervous, but I double checked everything and made sure it was all right!
Still can't put all my weight on my right leg- maybe about 40% or so with crutches- but progressing! I can feel right where they screwed my new knee into my shin- sometimes the pain is unbelievable. By Your stripes, i am healed.
And my stomach is better- the ugly bout of Ulcerated Colitis is all but gone- I finished my antibiotic for that today. Hopefully the good/bad bacteria stay in balance without the help of any more antibiotics. By Your stripes, i am healed.
Now it's all about pushing forward through the pain and getting WELL. How I want to be healthy again- Lord, please grant me this while I am young enough to enjoy it. By Your stripes, i am healed.
I am yours. amen.
Still can't put all my weight on my right leg- maybe about 40% or so with crutches- but progressing! I can feel right where they screwed my new knee into my shin- sometimes the pain is unbelievable. By Your stripes, i am healed.
And my stomach is better- the ugly bout of Ulcerated Colitis is all but gone- I finished my antibiotic for that today. Hopefully the good/bad bacteria stay in balance without the help of any more antibiotics. By Your stripes, i am healed.
Now it's all about pushing forward through the pain and getting WELL. How I want to be healthy again- Lord, please grant me this while I am young enough to enjoy it. By Your stripes, i am healed.
I am yours. amen.
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