So, we got away this weekend- all the staff and wives and went to my mom's house up in the mountains. We spent all day Friday and most of the day Saturday eating my mom's amazing food- nothing like Southern cookin' to bring out the creativity!
We were able to plan out the rest of the year's series and had a super-fun time slumber-party style. We even watched Young Frankenstein late Friday night, which the two older couples discovered isn't near as funny to the young 20-somethin' whippersnappers- our youth pastor and his wife.
Our greatest success? We came up with a series on Priorities that we're all so excited about- the weekly topics are: Fellowship, Discipleship, Relationship, and Stewardship. Series Title: "Get Your Ship Together!" We played with others as well: "Ship Happens"... "When the Ship Hits the Fan"... and of course "No Ship, Sherlock" (ok, it was getting pretty late by then)... Can't wait to design the graphics for this!
Our Baptist Worship Pastor made the comment that he was so glad we weren't part of an official denomination so they couldn't tell us not to do this! LOL
On another note, we are heading towards rapidly outgrowing our elementary school facility- we had 456 people this morning (We've been averaging between 390 and 400since before Christmas.). We are doing a high-impact series right now- I know that's brought a lot of new people in- we're showing the Life Church 3-week Dave Ramsey videos (which are AMAZING) and are going into the 13 week Financial Peace University small group curriculum- we have 9 new small groups forming- so we do feel that because of developing relationships, a lot of these new people will be staying with us! Pray with me that we pay for our land quickly and can move on to the next step- the building! God is doing amazing things!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Walking the tightrope...
For six weeks, I have had an extra son. A family in our church is crumbling before our eyes and it seems that nothing we say is helping.
They are a blended family- married for over ten years. She brought a boy and a girl into the marriage and so did he. The kids grew up together- they are all teenagers now with the youngest girl (his) in the eighth grade and the oldest son (hers) is a junior. For all intents and purposes, they looked like the Brady Bunch.
But they weren't.
Six weeks ago, the youngest girl accused the oldest boy of repeatedly molesting her from the time she was seven years old. She told the school librarian, who took her straight to the principal who went straight to social services and the police.
That was when the Brady Bunch turned into "mine" and "yours". The first night, mom brought the son over to our home- he was angry- she was in shock- and asked if he could stay with us. We said, "Of course" without thinking twice. We know and love the family and all of the kids.
He has been with us, as I said, for six weeks. Through the social services investigation in which the girl clammed up and refused to repeat her story. Through multiple counselors- for the boy, the girl, the marriage... it's been a high-anxiety, stress-filled mess to be in the middle of. They have received differing advice as to whether the son can come back into the home with his step-sister who accused him. The fighting between the families is dirty.
Both parents are trying to do the best for their child... I get that... but neither is compromising or thinking of the other child (or their spouse). Dad doesn't think the girl is lying... Mom doesn't think there's any way it happened and refuses to bring her son back into the home so she can protect him- but she's still been living at home at her husband's insistance.
Our role in this has been like walking a tightrope- trying to be there and offer sound advice to both parents and a bunch of hurting kids... emotionally exhausting. Not to mention having to keep track of another kid. Mom and Dad both want to think we are on "their" side. It's been so hard to stay neutral. My husband and I have a pretty firm opinion on whether or not anything really happened- but only two people will know for sure until somebody confesses to either lying or committing the acts.
Yesterday, mom got an apartment to move into with her kids. So, two kids have lost another mom, and two have lost another dad. The situation seems impossible. I know that nothing is too hard for God... but this is going to take a miracle.
I'm praying for one.
They are a blended family- married for over ten years. She brought a boy and a girl into the marriage and so did he. The kids grew up together- they are all teenagers now with the youngest girl (his) in the eighth grade and the oldest son (hers) is a junior. For all intents and purposes, they looked like the Brady Bunch.
But they weren't.
Six weeks ago, the youngest girl accused the oldest boy of repeatedly molesting her from the time she was seven years old. She told the school librarian, who took her straight to the principal who went straight to social services and the police.
That was when the Brady Bunch turned into "mine" and "yours". The first night, mom brought the son over to our home- he was angry- she was in shock- and asked if he could stay with us. We said, "Of course" without thinking twice. We know and love the family and all of the kids.
He has been with us, as I said, for six weeks. Through the social services investigation in which the girl clammed up and refused to repeat her story. Through multiple counselors- for the boy, the girl, the marriage... it's been a high-anxiety, stress-filled mess to be in the middle of. They have received differing advice as to whether the son can come back into the home with his step-sister who accused him. The fighting between the families is dirty.
Both parents are trying to do the best for their child... I get that... but neither is compromising or thinking of the other child (or their spouse). Dad doesn't think the girl is lying... Mom doesn't think there's any way it happened and refuses to bring her son back into the home so she can protect him- but she's still been living at home at her husband's insistance.
Our role in this has been like walking a tightrope- trying to be there and offer sound advice to both parents and a bunch of hurting kids... emotionally exhausting. Not to mention having to keep track of another kid. Mom and Dad both want to think we are on "their" side. It's been so hard to stay neutral. My husband and I have a pretty firm opinion on whether or not anything really happened- but only two people will know for sure until somebody confesses to either lying or committing the acts.
Yesterday, mom got an apartment to move into with her kids. So, two kids have lost another mom, and two have lost another dad. The situation seems impossible. I know that nothing is too hard for God... but this is going to take a miracle.
I'm praying for one.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Living life with the right kind of broken heart...
It’s what we’re supposed to do. Have a heart that breaks for those who don’t know Him…help them come to know Him…see them with His eyes, His compassion, His heart. Until the Heart of Christ is your very own. I have this heart most of the time… when my head is in charge.
But sometimes, when I lay my head on the pillow, things get foggy, and I lose the control that I have fought so hard for.
My imperfect heart has areas not surrendered and breaks for other things as well… things that are of my own selfish heart and not of His. Things that look past the blessings that have been given to me and still cry for more. Things that push me, tempt me, drag me in the wrong direction. What if I cannot conquer my own heart? What if I live my life with a heart that is broken for the wrong reasons?
This is not what I want… a self-ruled heart only brings pain, pain, and more pain. And it’s all the harder because actions do not give it away, my mind holds those in check… my heart rebels stealthily in my thoughts and dreams.
Romans 7:23-25 describes the problem perfectly and Romans 8:1-14 tells us how to solve it. I love this passage as it’s written in The Message translation… completely in-your-face.
But, how to get from point A to point B? I have confessed, begged, prayed to be released from the desires of my heart… and yet they stay. I have prayed to only want His will… and yet mine remains. I wrestle with it daily. I give it up daily. I strangle it daily. I mourn daily. In my humanity, I am at a loss… my heart and my head locked in a battle for control.
So, I go through the motions. I do what I should do, because it’s the right thing… because it’s what God wants. And every day, I wake up and try. Every day I re-surrender. Some days I do well, and some days I don’t. I live in prayer and know that no part of me is hidden from Him. I will wait patiently for my rescue… which may only come at the end of this life… whichever comes first, I will embrace it gladly in the warmth of His grace.
But sometimes, when I lay my head on the pillow, things get foggy, and I lose the control that I have fought so hard for.
My imperfect heart has areas not surrendered and breaks for other things as well… things that are of my own selfish heart and not of His. Things that look past the blessings that have been given to me and still cry for more. Things that push me, tempt me, drag me in the wrong direction. What if I cannot conquer my own heart? What if I live my life with a heart that is broken for the wrong reasons?
This is not what I want… a self-ruled heart only brings pain, pain, and more pain. And it’s all the harder because actions do not give it away, my mind holds those in check… my heart rebels stealthily in my thoughts and dreams.
Romans 7:23-25 describes the problem perfectly and Romans 8:1-14 tells us how to solve it. I love this passage as it’s written in The Message translation… completely in-your-face.
But, how to get from point A to point B? I have confessed, begged, prayed to be released from the desires of my heart… and yet they stay. I have prayed to only want His will… and yet mine remains. I wrestle with it daily. I give it up daily. I strangle it daily. I mourn daily. In my humanity, I am at a loss… my heart and my head locked in a battle for control.
So, I go through the motions. I do what I should do, because it’s the right thing… because it’s what God wants. And every day, I wake up and try. Every day I re-surrender. Some days I do well, and some days I don’t. I live in prayer and know that no part of me is hidden from Him. I will wait patiently for my rescue… which may only come at the end of this life… whichever comes first, I will embrace it gladly in the warmth of His grace.
Pray with me...
We just had a sweet baby girl born to a young couple from our church, their first, with suspected Down's Syndrome. The doctors are calling in a geneticist for further testing. Pray for health for the baby and peace for mom and dad... I'll keep you posted- mom, especially is having a really hard time.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Which Will Win?
Ugh. I'm so miserable... I've been up since 3:00- it's about 5am now... with a sinus infection that will NOT go away. I'm going on day 8.
I had a hilarious friend that used to try to inspire my then 8th grade daredevil of a son that the perfect Science Fair project would be to take lots of Immodium and lots of a laxative... and then take scrupulous notes to find out which would "win". I told my son he was welcome to try that experiment... at my friend's house- who could then be the Executive in Charge of Clean-Up. Somehow, thank goodness, that experiment was never carried out.
I just tried my own little experiment after days of sheer sleep depravation- Mucinex (whose commercials I HATE... who uses a booger as their mascot? seriously.) vs. Sudafed. A "let 'em loose" vs. a "stop 'em up".
I wonder which will win?
I had a hilarious friend that used to try to inspire my then 8th grade daredevil of a son that the perfect Science Fair project would be to take lots of Immodium and lots of a laxative... and then take scrupulous notes to find out which would "win". I told my son he was welcome to try that experiment... at my friend's house- who could then be the Executive in Charge of Clean-Up. Somehow, thank goodness, that experiment was never carried out.
I just tried my own little experiment after days of sheer sleep depravation- Mucinex (whose commercials I HATE... who uses a booger as their mascot? seriously.) vs. Sudafed. A "let 'em loose" vs. a "stop 'em up".
I wonder which will win?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Fixer-Upper
Give me a problem and I can fix it… sometimes even better than God Himself. There are times I know His will even better than He does, and when He doesn’t act fast enough, I’m right there to help Him along. If He says “wait.”… I know that He doesn’t really mean it and I go ahead and fix it anyway.
Of course I’m being facetious… kind of. I don’t actually assume that I can “fix” broken things better than God… I just play someone who assumes that on TV. Sigh.
In my Bible study this week, I was reading about God’s promise to Abram that his wife Sarai would bear him a son long after menopause had destroyed what little hope she had that her closed womb would be opened. This promise, unbeknownst to Abram and Sarai, wouldn’t be fulfilled for ten years or so… which would put her at the oh-so-fruitful childbearing age of about 75.
I understand Sarai; she was a fixer-upper too. And ten years is a long time to wait. I don’t like to wait ten minutes – I’m a “git ‘er done” kind of gal. After years of waiting and hoping and praying, she took the situation into her own hands and gave her maidservant to Abram to fulfill God’s promise for Him (He really did take a long time)… and this opened up a whole new can of worms… um, can you say cat-fight? Read all about it in Genesis 16.
I have a situation in my life right now where I’m pretty sure God is telling me to wait- and I’m so tempted to barge right in and try to fix it. There is this thing in my life that I desperately want to fix: a broken relationship with someone important to me. At least, I think it’s broken… out of the blue, there is no communication. I’ve tried to initiate it over the past couple of months with no response back… completely not understanding what’s going on. I don’t know if I’ve done something or haven’t done something. I have apologized, not knowing what, if anything, I’m apologizing for. I don’t see this person on a regular basis, so it’s not like I can get a good feel for what’s going on.
I miss my friend and it hurts.
I so wish I understood. Was the relationship not healthy for me? Is God pruning this from my life? Is He saving me from something? I just want to know. I’m sure Sarai did too. I’m sure she obsessed and worried over it- which I am also prone to do… am doing… if I want to be honest with myself.
As far as I know, I’ve done all that I can- and that God is asking me to be still. To w… w… wa… wait. There. I said it. I know all the scriptures - Proverbs 3:5, Psalm 46:10, and so many, many more. It is just so tempting to dive in- to try to FIX this.
At this point, I think it comes down to obedience for me. Will I obey God, or will I barge in?
Sigh.
I. Will. Wait.
Of course I’m being facetious… kind of. I don’t actually assume that I can “fix” broken things better than God… I just play someone who assumes that on TV. Sigh.
In my Bible study this week, I was reading about God’s promise to Abram that his wife Sarai would bear him a son long after menopause had destroyed what little hope she had that her closed womb would be opened. This promise, unbeknownst to Abram and Sarai, wouldn’t be fulfilled for ten years or so… which would put her at the oh-so-fruitful childbearing age of about 75.
I understand Sarai; she was a fixer-upper too. And ten years is a long time to wait. I don’t like to wait ten minutes – I’m a “git ‘er done” kind of gal. After years of waiting and hoping and praying, she took the situation into her own hands and gave her maidservant to Abram to fulfill God’s promise for Him (He really did take a long time)… and this opened up a whole new can of worms… um, can you say cat-fight? Read all about it in Genesis 16.
I have a situation in my life right now where I’m pretty sure God is telling me to wait- and I’m so tempted to barge right in and try to fix it. There is this thing in my life that I desperately want to fix: a broken relationship with someone important to me. At least, I think it’s broken… out of the blue, there is no communication. I’ve tried to initiate it over the past couple of months with no response back… completely not understanding what’s going on. I don’t know if I’ve done something or haven’t done something. I have apologized, not knowing what, if anything, I’m apologizing for. I don’t see this person on a regular basis, so it’s not like I can get a good feel for what’s going on.
I miss my friend and it hurts.
I so wish I understood. Was the relationship not healthy for me? Is God pruning this from my life? Is He saving me from something? I just want to know. I’m sure Sarai did too. I’m sure she obsessed and worried over it- which I am also prone to do… am doing… if I want to be honest with myself.
As far as I know, I’ve done all that I can- and that God is asking me to be still. To w… w… wa… wait. There. I said it. I know all the scriptures - Proverbs 3:5, Psalm 46:10, and so many, many more. It is just so tempting to dive in- to try to FIX this.
At this point, I think it comes down to obedience for me. Will I obey God, or will I barge in?
Sigh.
I. Will. Wait.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter Weekend 2009
Just so I don't forget that this is all worth it... all the hard work, the stress, the practices, working two 70+ hour weeks in a row... here are our stats for the weekend:
Our Good Friday service attendance was 215-
Today's Easter Sunday attendance was 619-
and best of all, 24 people accepted Christ for the first time today...
I like to think of it in these terms: 834 souls came to church this weekend to hear about Jesus. Out here in our little podunk town... well, that's pretty amazing. God is doing a great work here... and we need to stay out of His way- killing all ego and pride. We stand in awe of our amazing God- and can't wait to see what He has planned next.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sleep for the next 36 hours straight! :)
Our Good Friday service attendance was 215-
Today's Easter Sunday attendance was 619-
and best of all, 24 people accepted Christ for the first time today...
I like to think of it in these terms: 834 souls came to church this weekend to hear about Jesus. Out here in our little podunk town... well, that's pretty amazing. God is doing a great work here... and we need to stay out of His way- killing all ego and pride. We stand in awe of our amazing God- and can't wait to see what He has planned next.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sleep for the next 36 hours straight! :)
Monday, April 6, 2009
My Word(s) of the Day
Today I spent time wondering about the relationship between the paradox and the paradigm. It certainly does make me sound smart, doesn’t it… just pondering intelligent-sounding words like that? It was a little confusing at first, so I turned to my trusty online dictionary. Here is what I found on the word paradigm:
Paradigm: (n) 1. an example of a conjugation or declension showing a word in all its inflectional forms.
Huh? Let’s just skip down to the next one: 2. an outstandingly clear or typical example or archetype. Ohhhh. Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place?
And then there’s the paradox: (n) 1. one (as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases; a statement opposed to common sense that is true.
Now let’s practice using them correctly!
Truly Random Example #1:
I represent a paradigm as a pastor’s wife: following the pattern of all gracious and loving wives of pastors before me… caring, friendly, selfless, a lover of women’s ministry and all things having to do with lace and tea parties, ever pulled-together, and of course gracious and generous to a fault.
The paradox of this example might be that I am currently pms-ing my brains out (uh, yeah… I used pms-ing as a verb… don’t argue with me today… seriously.) and I might not be the greatest person to be around right now.
Truly Random Example # 2:
It is a paradox that no matter how hard I try to be nice and make someone feel included, and no matter how genuine I am, that they may have the pre-conceived paradigm image of me that it doesn’t matter whether I’m nice to them or not… because I have “to be nice to everyone.” It is a paradox that I have invested my time, my heart, and myself into a friendship that I felt was very real… that the other person considered a farce… all because of her paradigm.
Shifts happen. I know this. And I know the lady mentioned in “truly random example # 2” needs a paradigm shift. I’m just wondering if I’m the one who’s supposed to help her have it. The problem is, I’m too hurt at the moment to think of all I invested that was taken as gold-plated and put in the penny box at the garage sale.
Granted, Truly Random Example # 1 did not help me better accept Truly Random Example # 2 when it reached my ears via a well-meaning friend. Darn those well-meaning friends… she should have let me continue along happily in my own blissful paradigm image that I had established a wonderful, new friendship.
Oh, and… ah-hem… “The events, characters, and Truly Random Examples depicted in this blog are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or real Truly Random Examples is purely coincidental... For entertainment purposes only.”
And the prior statement, my friends, was a paradox. Ok, I think I get it now.
Paradigm: (n) 1. an example of a conjugation or declension showing a word in all its inflectional forms.
Huh? Let’s just skip down to the next one: 2. an outstandingly clear or typical example or archetype. Ohhhh. Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place?
And then there’s the paradox: (n) 1. one (as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases; a statement opposed to common sense that is true.
Now let’s practice using them correctly!
Truly Random Example #1:
I represent a paradigm as a pastor’s wife: following the pattern of all gracious and loving wives of pastors before me… caring, friendly, selfless, a lover of women’s ministry and all things having to do with lace and tea parties, ever pulled-together, and of course gracious and generous to a fault.
The paradox of this example might be that I am currently pms-ing my brains out (uh, yeah… I used pms-ing as a verb… don’t argue with me today… seriously.) and I might not be the greatest person to be around right now.
Truly Random Example # 2:
It is a paradox that no matter how hard I try to be nice and make someone feel included, and no matter how genuine I am, that they may have the pre-conceived paradigm image of me that it doesn’t matter whether I’m nice to them or not… because I have “to be nice to everyone.” It is a paradox that I have invested my time, my heart, and myself into a friendship that I felt was very real… that the other person considered a farce… all because of her paradigm.
Shifts happen. I know this. And I know the lady mentioned in “truly random example # 2” needs a paradigm shift. I’m just wondering if I’m the one who’s supposed to help her have it. The problem is, I’m too hurt at the moment to think of all I invested that was taken as gold-plated and put in the penny box at the garage sale.
Granted, Truly Random Example # 1 did not help me better accept Truly Random Example # 2 when it reached my ears via a well-meaning friend. Darn those well-meaning friends… she should have let me continue along happily in my own blissful paradigm image that I had established a wonderful, new friendship.
Oh, and… ah-hem… “The events, characters, and Truly Random Examples depicted in this blog are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or real Truly Random Examples is purely coincidental... For entertainment purposes only.”
And the prior statement, my friends, was a paradox. Ok, I think I get it now.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
sigh...
We've been in the throes of a blizzard for two days- it finally let up this morning. Trapped in the house with two stir crazy boys (one of them is 40)... aaaggghhhh! Me? So content to curl up and read and not think about the things I'm not letting myself think about... things I miss.
I'm not looking forward to this week- rehearsals for two different dramas every night- a Good Friday service... and then Easter Sunday... I'm going in tired- I have lost about 12 pounds in the last three months... which was needed... stress has its benefits. So does having only four staff members... you have to do it all yourself.
I've been too busy/down/distracted to write for several days... I just haven't had it in me. Hence the little break. Sometimes the rigors of ministry can completely suck the joy of the holidays right out of me.
The way I'm whining... you'd think it was time for a Slushie Run... our traditional pick-me-up with friends, family, and any senior higher who has suffered a devastating break-up... :) yeah. A Route-44 lemonberry sounds good right about now...
I'm not looking forward to this week- rehearsals for two different dramas every night- a Good Friday service... and then Easter Sunday... I'm going in tired- I have lost about 12 pounds in the last three months... which was needed... stress has its benefits. So does having only four staff members... you have to do it all yourself.
I've been too busy/down/distracted to write for several days... I just haven't had it in me. Hence the little break. Sometimes the rigors of ministry can completely suck the joy of the holidays right out of me.
The way I'm whining... you'd think it was time for a Slushie Run... our traditional pick-me-up with friends, family, and any senior higher who has suffered a devastating break-up... :) yeah. A Route-44 lemonberry sounds good right about now...
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