Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Made an exception today
and watched the Oprah Winfrey show. She interview Ted Haggard and his family. What a mess.
I stopped watching her when she started all that "Remembering Your Spirit" stuff about five or six years ago. She is so messed up in her spirituality and I think is, quite possibly, the anti-christ. How many millions of souls will she be responsible for leading astray on the day Christ returns? I shudder to think...
I stopped watching her when she started all that "Remembering Your Spirit" stuff about five or six years ago. She is so messed up in her spirituality and I think is, quite possibly, the anti-christ. How many millions of souls will she be responsible for leading astray on the day Christ returns? I shudder to think...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Bi-Polar Bear Chronicles part three (really part four, but who's counting?)
It is important for me to get a grip on the series of events that have occurred. Please excuse the repeat information.
1. A lady got cancer. Said lady did not come to our church- she preferred the traditional Presbyterian church down the road. Every Sunday morning, said lady would go to the traditional church with her husband and kids and after that service, her husband and two teenagers would drop her off at home and then come to our late service, which they enjoyed. They came to our services about four times before things got really bad with the wife's cancer. My husband and I only met her once before her hospitalization, and it was outside of church.
2. We visited said lady in the hospital. A lot. She was put into hospice at her home after about a month.
3. Apparently, Bi-Polar Bear knew said lady. She sat with her a couple of days a week while she was in hospice so that her husband could go in to work. Very nice and caring of Bi-Polar Bear.
4. Bi-Polar Bear called me and said this was too heavy of a burden for her to bear alone and I said, "I can only imagine! You are doing a wonderful thing." Bi-Polar Bear asked if we could put something in the bulletin to see if we could get some people from our church to come and sit with her friend during the day so her husband could work more. I said, "Absolutely. But I have a gut feeling about this: sitting with someone while they are dying is an intensely personal and emotional thing, and your friend doesn't attend our church... so not many people know her. I'm guessing we aren't going to get a good response for this. Would you mind if I also called her Presbyterian church to see if they could also try to get some people to sit with her? That may be more successful because she considers that her home church and they know her there." Bi-Polar Bear said that would be fine. I called the other church and ran the request in our bulletin for three weeks: Dec. 14, 21, and 28. There were no responses to the request regarding sitting with her from anyone in our church. Many did, however, offer to make a meal for the family
5. Said lady succumbed to her cancer before the new year.
6. At our office, the husband started working with my pastor-husband to make funeral arrangements. He asked if we could arrange meals for a couple of weeks. He indicated that he thought Bi-Polar Bear was working on it and maybe we could help her? A volunteer in our office called Bi-Polar Bear and said we had lots of people who had volunteered to make meals, could we add them to her list? Did she want to work together? Bi-Polar Bear said to just take it over.
7. Bi-Polar Bear stops coming to church, but her family continues to come.
8. This past Sunday, Bi-Polar Bear's husband came to help set up. One of our elders asked him where his wife is and if everything is ok (everyone knows the fragile nature of Bi-Polar Bear and how hard it is for her family when she is not doing well). Bi-Polar Bear's husband said, "No not really. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not going to lie. She just didn't want to come today." A few minutes later, I pulled Bi-Polar Bear's husband aside and said, "Is there anything I can do? Would it help if I called her?" He shook his head and gave me a look that let me know there was a lot more to the story. Here is the jist of our conversation this past Sunday morning:
Bi-Polar Bear's Husband (henceforth known as BPBH): She is really upset about a few... things.
Me: This is about me, isn't it? She's mad at me again.
BPBH: Yeah. She said you told her that the church wouldn't help or get involved with her friend with cancer. That no one knew her and we wouldn't help. She said you left her all alone in that situation. She said you came in and took the meals away from her, when it was the one thing she could do for the family after her friend died so that the church would look good.
1. A lady got cancer. Said lady did not come to our church- she preferred the traditional Presbyterian church down the road. Every Sunday morning, said lady would go to the traditional church with her husband and kids and after that service, her husband and two teenagers would drop her off at home and then come to our late service, which they enjoyed. They came to our services about four times before things got really bad with the wife's cancer. My husband and I only met her once before her hospitalization, and it was outside of church.
2. We visited said lady in the hospital. A lot. She was put into hospice at her home after about a month.
3. Apparently, Bi-Polar Bear knew said lady. She sat with her a couple of days a week while she was in hospice so that her husband could go in to work. Very nice and caring of Bi-Polar Bear.
4. Bi-Polar Bear called me and said this was too heavy of a burden for her to bear alone and I said, "I can only imagine! You are doing a wonderful thing." Bi-Polar Bear asked if we could put something in the bulletin to see if we could get some people from our church to come and sit with her friend during the day so her husband could work more. I said, "Absolutely. But I have a gut feeling about this: sitting with someone while they are dying is an intensely personal and emotional thing, and your friend doesn't attend our church... so not many people know her. I'm guessing we aren't going to get a good response for this. Would you mind if I also called her Presbyterian church to see if they could also try to get some people to sit with her? That may be more successful because she considers that her home church and they know her there." Bi-Polar Bear said that would be fine. I called the other church and ran the request in our bulletin for three weeks: Dec. 14, 21, and 28. There were no responses to the request regarding sitting with her from anyone in our church. Many did, however, offer to make a meal for the family
5. Said lady succumbed to her cancer before the new year.
6. At our office, the husband started working with my pastor-husband to make funeral arrangements. He asked if we could arrange meals for a couple of weeks. He indicated that he thought Bi-Polar Bear was working on it and maybe we could help her? A volunteer in our office called Bi-Polar Bear and said we had lots of people who had volunteered to make meals, could we add them to her list? Did she want to work together? Bi-Polar Bear said to just take it over.
7. Bi-Polar Bear stops coming to church, but her family continues to come.
8. This past Sunday, Bi-Polar Bear's husband came to help set up. One of our elders asked him where his wife is and if everything is ok (everyone knows the fragile nature of Bi-Polar Bear and how hard it is for her family when she is not doing well). Bi-Polar Bear's husband said, "No not really. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not going to lie. She just didn't want to come today." A few minutes later, I pulled Bi-Polar Bear's husband aside and said, "Is there anything I can do? Would it help if I called her?" He shook his head and gave me a look that let me know there was a lot more to the story. Here is the jist of our conversation this past Sunday morning:
Bi-Polar Bear's Husband (henceforth known as BPBH): She is really upset about a few... things.
Me: This is about me, isn't it? She's mad at me again.
BPBH: Yeah. She said you told her that the church wouldn't help or get involved with her friend with cancer. That no one knew her and we wouldn't help. She said you left her all alone in that situation. She said you came in and took the meals away from her, when it was the one thing she could do for the family after her friend died so that the church would look good.
(I then explained my converstaions with BPB's Husband, saying that was not the case at all!)
BPBH: I completely believe you. She is fixated on you and you are going to be the cause of all her problems and the source of her anger. I'm sorry. Maybe it would help if you called her to try to straighten this out? I don't know how she'll respond, she may be verbally abusive, but I'd really like to be able to come to church as a family, and she won't come because she's mad at you. I can't even be seen talking to you, and neither can our daughter, or she'll think we're conspiring against her and are on your side instead of hers. Will you call her?
Me: I'll call her. I may take a day or two to get my head together, but I'll call her and set up a meeting so we can get this worked out. (I dreaded this meeting- knowing I will be spending it apologizing for things I didn't do or say that she twisted around- and if I say she twisted it around, she'll say I'm calling her crazy.)
BPBH: thank you so much. I'm so sorry she's doing this to you. Oh, and by the way, please don't let her know that I told you this. There will be serious hell to pay for weeks if she thinks I betrayed her and told you this. If you could just call her and ask how she's doing and see if she wants to get together... that will be all you have to do- she'll open up to you. Just don't let her know I told you, ok?
Me: no problem. I will tell her I had a feeling something was up (which I did) and not mention you. The last thing I want to do is make things worse for you and your daughter.
Monday morning dawns and I have to take my husband to the airport. He will be gone all week for a family thing and won't be back until Saturday afternoon. On the drive to the airport at 6:30am, BPBH calls to tell me NOT to call Bi-Polar Bear after all, that he spoke with her and she is planning to call me to set up a meeting. He didn't want me to reveal the fact that we had spoken on Sunday when he told me what was up with her. I assured him I would wait for her call and that I would not call her.
When I get to the office, lo and behold, there is a phone message, left at 11:02 am Sunday morning on the church voicemail. Interesting. Obviously this person called at a time when they knew I would not be available to take a call- on Sunday morning in the middle of services. Hm. In the voicemail, Bi-Polar Bear calls crying, angry and irrational and says she needs to get together with me with both our husbands present to "work some issues out". When would be a good time? My heart is filled with dread at the very thought of even having to talk to her at this point.
So, following BPB's husband's advice, I take advantage of the fact that I really don't feel like speaking with her and getting into anything on the phone, and I email her. A really nice email that is copied and pasted right here for your perusal:
Hey XXXX!
xxx (my husband) and I would be glad to meet with you and your husband as soon as possible. xxx (my husband) is out of town for his dad's 60th birthday with his family and doesn't fly back in until noon on Saturday the 31st. I'm sure he's going to need some time to unwind and get things ready for Sunday; maybe we cold get together late Sunday afternoon Feb. 1st or monday evening the 2nd? Does one of those work for you or would you just like to touch base on Sunday?
I didn't hear back from her via email. Monday evening, Bi-Polar Bear's husband calls me to set up a meeting (?!). I can hear Bi-Polar Bear advising him of what to say in the background and he is talking back and forth between the two of us. I very sweetly reply that I emailed Bi-Polar Bear and suggested Sunday afternoon or Monday night. BPBH seemed confused and then set the date for Monday night. I hang up the phone and try not to think about it any more that evening.
It is now Tuesday morning and I received another call from BPBH's husband this morning. His first words: "I messed up." He explained that he hadn't know that Bi-Polar Bear had already called me- that was why he called me last night to set up a meeting. Apparently, Bi-Polar Bear thought her husband was just reinforcing the fact that I had not returned her prior call (and had not yet checked her email)- but BPBH thought he was making the initial contact for Bi-Polar Bear because she hadn't yet called me and he is desperate to get a meeting set up and have things worked out.
He then said that she was royally pissed that I emailed her instead of calling her back (please remember that this is after he called me the morning before and told me not to call her at all). He said her words were, "Apparently I don't even rate a phone call." He said, "I'm so sorry I put you in this position... She doesn't know I called you and told you not to call her... I understand that's why you emailed her... but now she's even angrier."
So I said, "At this point, it doesn't really matter. We'll just have to let her be mad at me for that one to protect you and your daughter. Don't worry- I still won't let her know that you came to me at all... as hard as this is for me, I know that you have to live with her and this is so much harder for you." He thanked me profusely and that is where we left it.
We are meeting Monday evening where I will explain myself as gently as possible, without letting her know that I was tipped off as to why she was angry, and without letting her know that I was told not to call her... in other words, I'll be sitting there and taking it and taking it and taking it. I wish I could film it for you. In the end, it won't really matter. I am not going on the defense or the offense, nor will I explain the unfairness of this at all... I'll just answer her complaints as simply and kindly as I can and apologize over and over that she misunderstood what I said. I have learned that my reasonings don't work with her- she's going to hear what she wants to hear regardless. At least I have my husband there to deflect some criticism and defend me a little bit... but I'm not going to do it. It will just result in more hatred and criticism from Bi-Polar Bear.
You know, I really do understand how horrible this situation is for Bi-Polar Bear's husband and child... and I feel so bad for them. I have seen her at her worst... I am the one who took her to the mental hospital the last time she had a break-down (in Oct. or Nov. of last year). I understand what they must have to live with and the egg-shells they must have to walk on at home.
However, I feel the need to say one critical thing... I will be really glad when Bi-Polar Bear's husband grows a pair. I know, I know... that wasn't a very "pastor's wifely" thing to say. But surely there has to be some way to deal with the Bi-Polar person so that every portion of your life isn't consumed by their illness. Surely there is a way to deal with them in which people are not hurt and relationships are not destroyed or had the life sucked out of them?
If you have advice, suggestions, criticisms... whatever... please feel free to share. I would also like to provide one disclaimer: I know it seems very irrevrant that I call her "Bi-Polar Bear", and I don't mean to make light of a very real illness. I use the term first of all, to protect her identity, and secondly, because it makes me giggle inside a little bit- and quite honestly, with all of the frustration that this relationship brings to my life... I think I deserve a giggle where I can get one.
Me: I'll call her. I may take a day or two to get my head together, but I'll call her and set up a meeting so we can get this worked out. (I dreaded this meeting- knowing I will be spending it apologizing for things I didn't do or say that she twisted around- and if I say she twisted it around, she'll say I'm calling her crazy.)
BPBH: thank you so much. I'm so sorry she's doing this to you. Oh, and by the way, please don't let her know that I told you this. There will be serious hell to pay for weeks if she thinks I betrayed her and told you this. If you could just call her and ask how she's doing and see if she wants to get together... that will be all you have to do- she'll open up to you. Just don't let her know I told you, ok?
Me: no problem. I will tell her I had a feeling something was up (which I did) and not mention you. The last thing I want to do is make things worse for you and your daughter.
Monday morning dawns and I have to take my husband to the airport. He will be gone all week for a family thing and won't be back until Saturday afternoon. On the drive to the airport at 6:30am, BPBH calls to tell me NOT to call Bi-Polar Bear after all, that he spoke with her and she is planning to call me to set up a meeting. He didn't want me to reveal the fact that we had spoken on Sunday when he told me what was up with her. I assured him I would wait for her call and that I would not call her.
When I get to the office, lo and behold, there is a phone message, left at 11:02 am Sunday morning on the church voicemail. Interesting. Obviously this person called at a time when they knew I would not be available to take a call- on Sunday morning in the middle of services. Hm. In the voicemail, Bi-Polar Bear calls crying, angry and irrational and says she needs to get together with me with both our husbands present to "work some issues out". When would be a good time? My heart is filled with dread at the very thought of even having to talk to her at this point.
So, following BPB's husband's advice, I take advantage of the fact that I really don't feel like speaking with her and getting into anything on the phone, and I email her. A really nice email that is copied and pasted right here for your perusal:
Hey XXXX!
xxx (my husband) and I would be glad to meet with you and your husband as soon as possible. xxx (my husband) is out of town for his dad's 60th birthday with his family and doesn't fly back in until noon on Saturday the 31st. I'm sure he's going to need some time to unwind and get things ready for Sunday; maybe we cold get together late Sunday afternoon Feb. 1st or monday evening the 2nd? Does one of those work for you or would you just like to touch base on Sunday?
I didn't hear back from her via email. Monday evening, Bi-Polar Bear's husband calls me to set up a meeting (?!). I can hear Bi-Polar Bear advising him of what to say in the background and he is talking back and forth between the two of us. I very sweetly reply that I emailed Bi-Polar Bear and suggested Sunday afternoon or Monday night. BPBH seemed confused and then set the date for Monday night. I hang up the phone and try not to think about it any more that evening.
It is now Tuesday morning and I received another call from BPBH's husband this morning. His first words: "I messed up." He explained that he hadn't know that Bi-Polar Bear had already called me- that was why he called me last night to set up a meeting. Apparently, Bi-Polar Bear thought her husband was just reinforcing the fact that I had not returned her prior call (and had not yet checked her email)- but BPBH thought he was making the initial contact for Bi-Polar Bear because she hadn't yet called me and he is desperate to get a meeting set up and have things worked out.
He then said that she was royally pissed that I emailed her instead of calling her back (please remember that this is after he called me the morning before and told me not to call her at all). He said her words were, "Apparently I don't even rate a phone call." He said, "I'm so sorry I put you in this position... She doesn't know I called you and told you not to call her... I understand that's why you emailed her... but now she's even angrier."
So I said, "At this point, it doesn't really matter. We'll just have to let her be mad at me for that one to protect you and your daughter. Don't worry- I still won't let her know that you came to me at all... as hard as this is for me, I know that you have to live with her and this is so much harder for you." He thanked me profusely and that is where we left it.
We are meeting Monday evening where I will explain myself as gently as possible, without letting her know that I was tipped off as to why she was angry, and without letting her know that I was told not to call her... in other words, I'll be sitting there and taking it and taking it and taking it. I wish I could film it for you. In the end, it won't really matter. I am not going on the defense or the offense, nor will I explain the unfairness of this at all... I'll just answer her complaints as simply and kindly as I can and apologize over and over that she misunderstood what I said. I have learned that my reasonings don't work with her- she's going to hear what she wants to hear regardless. At least I have my husband there to deflect some criticism and defend me a little bit... but I'm not going to do it. It will just result in more hatred and criticism from Bi-Polar Bear.
You know, I really do understand how horrible this situation is for Bi-Polar Bear's husband and child... and I feel so bad for them. I have seen her at her worst... I am the one who took her to the mental hospital the last time she had a break-down (in Oct. or Nov. of last year). I understand what they must have to live with and the egg-shells they must have to walk on at home.
However, I feel the need to say one critical thing... I will be really glad when Bi-Polar Bear's husband grows a pair. I know, I know... that wasn't a very "pastor's wifely" thing to say. But surely there has to be some way to deal with the Bi-Polar person so that every portion of your life isn't consumed by their illness. Surely there is a way to deal with them in which people are not hurt and relationships are not destroyed or had the life sucked out of them?
If you have advice, suggestions, criticisms... whatever... please feel free to share. I would also like to provide one disclaimer: I know it seems very irrevrant that I call her "Bi-Polar Bear", and I don't mean to make light of a very real illness. I use the term first of all, to protect her identity, and secondly, because it makes me giggle inside a little bit- and quite honestly, with all of the frustration that this relationship brings to my life... I think I deserve a giggle where I can get one.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Test-ees (Sorry, I had to use that title... it made me giggle)
There is a particular family at our church that continually "tests" us. That makes my husband and I the "test-ees". What a title. I'm putting that on my business card.
They will miss a week and then wait to see if we call. We are getting to the size now that, unless someone tips us off, there's no way we'd know (especially my husband and me... on a Sunday morning... it's crazy for us just trying to shake hands and meet as many people as we can) and they might be missed. But we don't call every family that misses a Sunday... then of course... every family isn't testing us.
They don't like that we take an offering... they don't like how often we take communion... they are one of the two feuding families at our church... oh, and they're mad at my husband for not intervening in a situation sooner when he suggested that they follow the Biblical guidelines and talk to the other family on their own first.
Are we perfect? By no means. But are we doing our best to bring glory to God? Absolutely. Do things fall through the cracks? As much as we try not to let them... of course they do... we're human.
Between this family and my bi-polar bear (who I have to meet with next Monday night... really looking forward to that one), I am ready to throw in the towel... but I know I can't. NO one told me there would be so many difficult people- though I guess I knew it. There is just no way we can ever live up to everyone's expectations. I'm starting to get that and let more and more roll off my back- it's just hard to be so dang nice all the time.
I know Who we have to please. I pray He is satisfied with our efforts.
Father, help us to model You. Shower us with your wisdom, strength, and a vigorous sense of humor so we can laugh when we need to. And I need to tonight.
They will miss a week and then wait to see if we call. We are getting to the size now that, unless someone tips us off, there's no way we'd know (especially my husband and me... on a Sunday morning... it's crazy for us just trying to shake hands and meet as many people as we can) and they might be missed. But we don't call every family that misses a Sunday... then of course... every family isn't testing us.
They don't like that we take an offering... they don't like how often we take communion... they are one of the two feuding families at our church... oh, and they're mad at my husband for not intervening in a situation sooner when he suggested that they follow the Biblical guidelines and talk to the other family on their own first.
Are we perfect? By no means. But are we doing our best to bring glory to God? Absolutely. Do things fall through the cracks? As much as we try not to let them... of course they do... we're human.
Between this family and my bi-polar bear (who I have to meet with next Monday night... really looking forward to that one), I am ready to throw in the towel... but I know I can't. NO one told me there would be so many difficult people- though I guess I knew it. There is just no way we can ever live up to everyone's expectations. I'm starting to get that and let more and more roll off my back- it's just hard to be so dang nice all the time.
I know Who we have to please. I pray He is satisfied with our efforts.
Father, help us to model You. Shower us with your wisdom, strength, and a vigorous sense of humor so we can laugh when we need to. And I need to tonight.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Return of the Bi-Polar Bear...
Ugh. She's back. And I've allowed her to ruin my day... again. I know. I can't take it personally... it's her illness- she's both bi-polar and paranoid.
But I'm human and the unwarranted, irrational criticism is getting to me. Her husband told me that she has fixated everything that is wrong in her life onto me. great. She continually misinterprets my words and my motives and chooses to believe the worst of me.
She didn't come to church today because she's mad at me and once again, took something I said and twisted it completely around. Her husband said he couldn't even be seen talking to me or there would be hell to pay. He felt horrible telling me this stuff, and he believed my explanation of the conversation that took place between his wife and me- but he has to live with her, and he could never publicly take my side (nor do I think it would be right for him to do that against his wife)- but he asked me if I would consider going to her... again... and try to patch things up so that his family could come to church together.
It's so not fair. Can I just whine for a minute? I'm so tired of having to be the one to grovel when I haven't DONE anything... how can I even explain it? I've had to do this continually with this woman, and it's never going to be enough. I could go into details here to explain what was said and how it was misinterpreted... but it doesn't even really matter. She's so irrational and so eager to believe the worst of me.
I'll try to talk with her and patch this up and maybe I'll succeed... but in two week's time, she'll be angry at me again for something else. I read a blog today that helped (thanks Kem)- about emotional endurance... and a friend gave me a positive way to look at this as well: as long as I'm her target... as long as she's fixated on me... she isn't pushing it off on someone else like her saint of a husband or her teenage daughter. That helped a little too... but just might give me a martyr complex. :) just kidding.
I know I have to talk to her but I really don't want to. I'm going to wait a day or so to get my head together. I'm also thinking that I shouldn't meet with her or talk to her without a witness because she twists everything I say.
It's kind of funny because I keep thinking, "I was voted "most popular" twice in high school! How is it that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I cannot win in this situation? Anyway... pray for me. Before I talk to her, I need to be able to see her with God's eyes and love her with His heart. That sounds like a tall order to me, but I know He's big enough to fill it.
But I'm human and the unwarranted, irrational criticism is getting to me. Her husband told me that she has fixated everything that is wrong in her life onto me. great. She continually misinterprets my words and my motives and chooses to believe the worst of me.
She didn't come to church today because she's mad at me and once again, took something I said and twisted it completely around. Her husband said he couldn't even be seen talking to me or there would be hell to pay. He felt horrible telling me this stuff, and he believed my explanation of the conversation that took place between his wife and me- but he has to live with her, and he could never publicly take my side (nor do I think it would be right for him to do that against his wife)- but he asked me if I would consider going to her... again... and try to patch things up so that his family could come to church together.
It's so not fair. Can I just whine for a minute? I'm so tired of having to be the one to grovel when I haven't DONE anything... how can I even explain it? I've had to do this continually with this woman, and it's never going to be enough. I could go into details here to explain what was said and how it was misinterpreted... but it doesn't even really matter. She's so irrational and so eager to believe the worst of me.
I'll try to talk with her and patch this up and maybe I'll succeed... but in two week's time, she'll be angry at me again for something else. I read a blog today that helped (thanks Kem)- about emotional endurance... and a friend gave me a positive way to look at this as well: as long as I'm her target... as long as she's fixated on me... she isn't pushing it off on someone else like her saint of a husband or her teenage daughter. That helped a little too... but just might give me a martyr complex. :) just kidding.
I know I have to talk to her but I really don't want to. I'm going to wait a day or so to get my head together. I'm also thinking that I shouldn't meet with her or talk to her without a witness because she twists everything I say.
It's kind of funny because I keep thinking, "I was voted "most popular" twice in high school! How is it that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I cannot win in this situation? Anyway... pray for me. Before I talk to her, I need to be able to see her with God's eyes and love her with His heart. That sounds like a tall order to me, but I know He's big enough to fill it.
Friday, January 23, 2009
a bad night.
very frustrated with myself. i must get control of my heart and mind. put priorities right. i hate being human. Romans 7:15-24.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
a(squared) + b(squared) = c(squared)
Ah-hem... It is 2:01 am. Here is the solution to the above formula:
a(squared) = Husband slips under the covers at about 12:30 am and robustly dutch-ovens his harmless, sleeping wife.
b(squared)= Wife wakes up, gasping for breath with the husband laughing uncontrollably asking, "Were you sound asleep?" After several minutes of bed-shaking laughter, the husband quiets down and immediately sleeps like a baby. Wife cannot go back to sleep and lays in bed getting angrier and angrier at the discourtesy that was unjustly paid to her.
c(squared)= Angry wife seeks revenge at 2 am by blogging about husband's earlier activities. She only wishes she were a reporter for the local paper. Will have to settle for the world wide web. Would love to put this anecdote in the church bulletin this week asking, "Can you believe this guy is your PASTOR?"
a(squared) = Husband slips under the covers at about 12:30 am and robustly dutch-ovens his harmless, sleeping wife.
b(squared)= Wife wakes up, gasping for breath with the husband laughing uncontrollably asking, "Were you sound asleep?" After several minutes of bed-shaking laughter, the husband quiets down and immediately sleeps like a baby. Wife cannot go back to sleep and lays in bed getting angrier and angrier at the discourtesy that was unjustly paid to her.
c(squared)= Angry wife seeks revenge at 2 am by blogging about husband's earlier activities. She only wishes she were a reporter for the local paper. Will have to settle for the world wide web. Would love to put this anecdote in the church bulletin this week asking, "Can you believe this guy is your PASTOR?"
Monday, January 19, 2009
How did I not know this?
My husband has a really sick sense of humor and our youth pastor is encouraging it to blossom out of control.
They are out shooting prairie dogs as we speak. Notice that I don't say poor, defenseless prairie dogs like I would say if I were speaking about baby deer or other such specimens of cuteness. I do not have strong sympathy for the small dog of the prairie; they hurt our farmers out here and there is no love loss between the farmer and the prairie dog. I simply pick people over vermin.
Anywho- our men's ministry is hosting it's second annual Wild Game Feast and Sportsman's Competition. This is the event where they get together with several other churches in Colorado and make much of being a man. Lots of manly grunting surely must take place. They have two-man log sawing competitions, ax-throwing contests, some kind of knock-the-other-guy-off-the-log competition, and exotic game meat to sample. In the past they've had the usual deer and elk along with buffalo, rattlesnake, ostrich, bear, antelope, and this year... prairie dog... courtesy of my husband and the youth pastor. Here's how our conversation went:
Him (looking like a little kid): Guess what? Farmer Boyd is letting us onto his property to shoot prairie dogs! He says we can shoot as many as we want- he really needs to get rid of them! We're making prairie dog stew for the Wild Game feast!
Me (casually): Huh. Don't prairie dogs carry the bubonic plague?
Him (thinking quickly on his feet): Don't worry! We'll just cook it extra long! It'll boil right out.
Me: You're going to boil out the bubonic plague?
Him: Yeah. You got a good stew recipe?
And this is the point where I was my hands of this. Any outbreaks of bubonic plague or other such illnesses, no matter which orifice they choose to make their exit from... even if such exit is from a point of origin within my own husband... my hands are clean and will remain as such.
Should I call Church Mutual Insurance... just to give them a heads up?
They are out shooting prairie dogs as we speak. Notice that I don't say poor, defenseless prairie dogs like I would say if I were speaking about baby deer or other such specimens of cuteness. I do not have strong sympathy for the small dog of the prairie; they hurt our farmers out here and there is no love loss between the farmer and the prairie dog. I simply pick people over vermin.
Anywho- our men's ministry is hosting it's second annual Wild Game Feast and Sportsman's Competition. This is the event where they get together with several other churches in Colorado and make much of being a man. Lots of manly grunting surely must take place. They have two-man log sawing competitions, ax-throwing contests, some kind of knock-the-other-guy-off-the-log competition, and exotic game meat to sample. In the past they've had the usual deer and elk along with buffalo, rattlesnake, ostrich, bear, antelope, and this year... prairie dog... courtesy of my husband and the youth pastor. Here's how our conversation went:
Him (looking like a little kid): Guess what? Farmer Boyd is letting us onto his property to shoot prairie dogs! He says we can shoot as many as we want- he really needs to get rid of them! We're making prairie dog stew for the Wild Game feast!
Me (casually): Huh. Don't prairie dogs carry the bubonic plague?
Him (thinking quickly on his feet): Don't worry! We'll just cook it extra long! It'll boil right out.
Me: You're going to boil out the bubonic plague?
Him: Yeah. You got a good stew recipe?
And this is the point where I was my hands of this. Any outbreaks of bubonic plague or other such illnesses, no matter which orifice they choose to make their exit from... even if such exit is from a point of origin within my own husband... my hands are clean and will remain as such.
Should I call Church Mutual Insurance... just to give them a heads up?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Things that made me happy today-
1. New pajamas.
2. The beautiful weather.
3. Being honest with my husband about something I'd never told him before.
4. The song "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse.
5. Seeing my 13 year old son work diligently on the guitar he is building.
6. My dog being happy to see me after I was gone all day.
7. Helping my son who is away at college with a girl problem.
8. Hearing from my 6th grade boyfriend on Facebook, laughing at ourselves and reminiscing, and
then finding out that he's a Christian too!
9. Not having to go to the office today.
10. and, coming up shortly... going to bed before 10 pm. :)
2. The beautiful weather.
3. Being honest with my husband about something I'd never told him before.
4. The song "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse.
5. Seeing my 13 year old son work diligently on the guitar he is building.
6. My dog being happy to see me after I was gone all day.
7. Helping my son who is away at college with a girl problem.
8. Hearing from my 6th grade boyfriend on Facebook, laughing at ourselves and reminiscing, and
then finding out that he's a Christian too!
9. Not having to go to the office today.
10. and, coming up shortly... going to bed before 10 pm. :)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
gulp... ww..wo..wommm...wwomenns mminnnistry
Ok, I did it. I've avoided it like the plague- and fought against it because everyone expected me to do it... and I rebelled as long as humanly possible- let's see- for over 3 years now. I even ditched Women of Faith (GASP!). As you can see from the title... I'm wary of women's ministry. I have been way overexposed to tea parties, lace, and the whiny, support-group atmosphere that can erupt from thin air in one sniffle of a nose or from one tear-laden eyelash.
Not that tea parties are bad (in England), and I find lace entirely acceptable (on feminine handkerchiefs and wedding dresses). And hey- I am ALL for girlfriends. During one particularly difficult time in my life not too long ago... my most excellent girlfriend was all that I had... and I'm certain that she listened to me drone on incessantly about all the problems in my life as we walked together three days each week. I have been subjected to more corny games than I can count, and invited to more "please come buy some stuff so I can get some free stuff" parties (candles, jewelry, home furnishings... just to name a few) that try to pass themselves off as ministry events because everyone from the ministry is invited and expected to attend or else you're a horrible, horrible person... and I got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Man, I hate those parties. Whoever invented them should be dragged to a small room and forced to buy things that they don't really want, are not worth the price, and that they absolutely can't afford. And then they should be put on the spot over and over again until they cave in and give a party of their own and make all of their friends just as uncomfortable as they were made to feel. But, I digress.
I've been feeling for a while that it was time to move on from being a youth group sponsor and focus on the area our church really needs to work on... the women's ministry. I started feeling guilty because I knew I was no longer needed in the youth department- they've been rocking for a while now. I even went out and got a tattoo to remind myself of how rebellious I was and that women's ministry was just not my thing. Don't worry- it's just a little butterfly on my shoulder- not a tramp stamp that says "I hate women's ministry" in really gothic, swirly writing across the top of my bum (that would be totally funny though- can you have temporary tattoos printed?).
I know, I'm really sarcastic and on the verge of offending those who hold Women's Ministry near and dear to their hearts. I'm sorry. I do love women and I care deeply for their spiritual growth and for them as people... as my friends. And I'm not as immature as I sound. This is a vent blog, remember? Don't worry, because God has been working on me.
I started my Bible study two weeks ago. It was obviously a need in our church because almost 30 women showed up. There were so many of us we had to divide into small groups and meet in areas all over my house. I had to leave my group to get something from the kitchen last night and I heard peals of laughter from every corner of my home. It made me smile. Friendships are forming and women are sharing and giving. Women who felt all alone are connecting. Ministry among women is happening. And I'm really enjoying it. Yeah, there's the difficult one who interrupts everyone and tells story after story about things that don't relate AT ALL to what it is we're talking about. But there's also the one who got hurt at her last church and is scared to trust again, and the one who's husband just left her, and the one who struggles with an autistic child. Maybe the key for me is to see the individuals that I can love- away from all the fluff that can be women's ministry- and appreciate them for who they are, where they've been, and where they're going.
I think I can handle that.
Not that tea parties are bad (in England), and I find lace entirely acceptable (on feminine handkerchiefs and wedding dresses). And hey- I am ALL for girlfriends. During one particularly difficult time in my life not too long ago... my most excellent girlfriend was all that I had... and I'm certain that she listened to me drone on incessantly about all the problems in my life as we walked together three days each week. I have been subjected to more corny games than I can count, and invited to more "please come buy some stuff so I can get some free stuff" parties (candles, jewelry, home furnishings... just to name a few) that try to pass themselves off as ministry events because everyone from the ministry is invited and expected to attend or else you're a horrible, horrible person... and I got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Man, I hate those parties. Whoever invented them should be dragged to a small room and forced to buy things that they don't really want, are not worth the price, and that they absolutely can't afford. And then they should be put on the spot over and over again until they cave in and give a party of their own and make all of their friends just as uncomfortable as they were made to feel. But, I digress.
I've been feeling for a while that it was time to move on from being a youth group sponsor and focus on the area our church really needs to work on... the women's ministry. I started feeling guilty because I knew I was no longer needed in the youth department- they've been rocking for a while now. I even went out and got a tattoo to remind myself of how rebellious I was and that women's ministry was just not my thing. Don't worry- it's just a little butterfly on my shoulder- not a tramp stamp that says "I hate women's ministry" in really gothic, swirly writing across the top of my bum (that would be totally funny though- can you have temporary tattoos printed?).
I know, I'm really sarcastic and on the verge of offending those who hold Women's Ministry near and dear to their hearts. I'm sorry. I do love women and I care deeply for their spiritual growth and for them as people... as my friends. And I'm not as immature as I sound. This is a vent blog, remember? Don't worry, because God has been working on me.
I started my Bible study two weeks ago. It was obviously a need in our church because almost 30 women showed up. There were so many of us we had to divide into small groups and meet in areas all over my house. I had to leave my group to get something from the kitchen last night and I heard peals of laughter from every corner of my home. It made me smile. Friendships are forming and women are sharing and giving. Women who felt all alone are connecting. Ministry among women is happening. And I'm really enjoying it. Yeah, there's the difficult one who interrupts everyone and tells story after story about things that don't relate AT ALL to what it is we're talking about. But there's also the one who got hurt at her last church and is scared to trust again, and the one who's husband just left her, and the one who struggles with an autistic child. Maybe the key for me is to see the individuals that I can love- away from all the fluff that can be women's ministry- and appreciate them for who they are, where they've been, and where they're going.
I think I can handle that.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
It's Saturday... 9:59 am-
and I should not be working in the church office today. (Just thought I'd point that out.) Sigh.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Dear Mr. Anonymous,
Thank you for your truly inspired comments on our info cards last Sunday. They revealed several things to me.
First of all, I realize that you are not involved in our body, because you are not aware of the things that happen behind the scenes (and even not-so-behind the scenes)- the calling, the hospital visits, the notes, the personal contacts during the week and on Sundays. You are not aware of what goes into my husband's 40-60 hour work week, or my 40-50 hour work week.
Second, you said things just to hurt us. Therefore, I realize that you are not presenting a list of issues that are near and dear to your heart, and you aren't really trying to "improve" us. You don't really want us to pray about these things... you just want to stir up trouble. Good luck with that. Um, you are messing with someone a lot bigger than you...
Third, God is in control of this church- not you- and so I'm not going to take your snarky comments personally or spend any time worrying about them. If God lets us know through valid means that there's something we need to work on, then we will kill ourselves to accomplish it. I'm not going to let you take my eyes off the game here because you are not being catered to.
Lastly, I realize how cowardly anonymous comments are. It's easy to be mean in secret. We invite you to come forward and discuss your "concerns" openly, honestly, and in love. We would love to answer your accusations and discuss how we might be able to improve the way we do things- we are completely open to that as servants of Christ.
While we won't be holding our breath, we'll leave the back door open.
First of all, I realize that you are not involved in our body, because you are not aware of the things that happen behind the scenes (and even not-so-behind the scenes)- the calling, the hospital visits, the notes, the personal contacts during the week and on Sundays. You are not aware of what goes into my husband's 40-60 hour work week, or my 40-50 hour work week.
Second, you said things just to hurt us. Therefore, I realize that you are not presenting a list of issues that are near and dear to your heart, and you aren't really trying to "improve" us. You don't really want us to pray about these things... you just want to stir up trouble. Good luck with that. Um, you are messing with someone a lot bigger than you...
Third, God is in control of this church- not you- and so I'm not going to take your snarky comments personally or spend any time worrying about them. If God lets us know through valid means that there's something we need to work on, then we will kill ourselves to accomplish it. I'm not going to let you take my eyes off the game here because you are not being catered to.
Lastly, I realize how cowardly anonymous comments are. It's easy to be mean in secret. We invite you to come forward and discuss your "concerns" openly, honestly, and in love. We would love to answer your accusations and discuss how we might be able to improve the way we do things- we are completely open to that as servants of Christ.
While we won't be holding our breath, we'll leave the back door open.
Friday, January 2, 2009
allow me an emo moment...
I'm not usually one to post words to a song, but this one really touched me. It is my prayer as I start the new year with new resolve not to be a big fat whiny baby (see previous post). You should totally buy it for your ipod or other portable encouragement device!
The Storm
Lifehouse/Who We Are
how long have I been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
if I could just see You
everything will be alright
if I'd see You
this darkness will turn to light
and I will walk on water
and You will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into Your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I know You didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
if I could just see You
everything would be alright
if I’d see You
this darkness would turn to light
and I will walk on water
and You will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into Your eyes
I know everything will be alright
everything's alright.
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