Losing My Religion

I always thought this song by R.E.M. was about someone turning away from God. Then I listened to the lyrics I was singing along to...and discovered that wasn't it at all and in fact, I tend to "lose my religion" and get angry at silly things on a regular basis.

I lost my religion today with a waiter. You know, the disappearing waiter. The one who comes right away to take your order and bring your drinks with a big smile. He looks so promising. Then he just doesn't come back. Not even when the people in another waiter's section who arrived twenty minutes after you have already received their food and are working on dessert. You know... that waiter.

The one who breezes by your table and, when stopped to ask when your food will be out after you've been waiting for 35 minutes, gets testy and says, "It is being prepared," and you have a sinking feeling that it's been sitting under a warming lamp for half an hour while he took his smoking break and your sandwich will now have a spitefully placed chest hair plucked fresh from his roommate who's working the grill. Remember him?

The guy who finally brings your food and then doesn't come back to refill your first Coke or check to see if everything is ok, forcing you to choke down your lunch sans liquid? And then he only appears with an annoyed expression on his face after you've asked another waiter to track him down so you can get a refill and swallow your food? The one who made your fellow diners feel uncomfortable because I was gazing longingly at their drinks? Yeah, that one.

My husband got an earfull from me... but wouldn't say anything to the manager about our service or the rudeness of our waiter. His repeated words were, "Ang, chill out!".

So how did I lose my religion with him? With a spray of angry, unchristian words? A nasty note to the manager? Trashing their restroom?

Nope. I only tipped him 10%.

Can anyone say BURN?!?! Didn't think so.

And that is why I had to come home and write about it.