I survived Christmas.

Isn't that a horrible thing to say? It is 4 pm two days after Christmas- and I'm laying on the couch in my pajamas and new robe from Victoria's Secret- freshly showered with clean fluffy hair and not a stitch of makeup on. I am ready for bed. Like, three days worth of bed.

I am completely exhausted- mentally, physically, and emotionally. Here's the "cheese with my whine" show... so you may want to stop reading here! You have been warned.

Mentally: So much to think about. From the gift-getting (which was actually minimal this year) to just being on staff at a plant church- where so much work falls to so few staff members. I've been fretting over the Christmas services for months- and they were fantastic. We planned them for the 22nd and 23rd. We ran about 133 the first night and a little over 300 the second night- very successful for us- and things went smoothly. It was funny, touching, and people left with smiles on their faces. But planning and executing every detail was mentally exhausting. We left on the 24th to go to one set of our parents- then late on the 25th to make it to the other set. Family had flown in from all over the country for both sides- there was all that catching up to do- with no real down time, because we could only stay for about 24 hours each... staying up late... getting up early.... I feel like I've been "on" since last Sunday... know what I mean?

Physically: I haven't mentioned this yet, but I have lupus- diagnosed at age 18 (I'm 39 now... you do the math). I mostly do ok, but when I go and go (as mentioned above)- it really catches up to me. I have been hit with exhaustion and an arthritis flare up that could keep me on this couch for a couple of days... which I can't let it happen. More family is coming to visit our church tomorrow and I just can't be down for the count. I'm waiting to find out what the next step is with an impending knee replacement surgery (which I am looking forward to so I can be active again)- again arthritis related. Pray that whatever the next hoop I have to jump through for the insurance company comes quickly.

Emotionally: Difficult Christmas at my mom's house. We lost my brother in a motorcycle accident this year- and just helping to keep my mom's spirits up is emotionally exhausting. She isn't doing well and lives a relatively isolated life- so she sits and dwells on things- and just gets sadder and sadder. Not to mention dealing with my own grief and feelings about the loss during Christmas... but not really being able to show it in front of her because it really sets her off.

So that this isn't just another whiny post- I think it's important to list some of the good things that have happened this year... some of the blessings that have come my way:

• The restoration of a friendship that I needed but wasn't sure if we could ever move past some of the issues or not. Turns out our friendship was stronger than the issues.
  
• I have been relatively healthy this year.
• Our church is growing and thriving and it's so exciting to be a part of- even though I still sometimes wonder how I got here...
• We just paid off about half of our debt- and are working hard on the rest of it.
• We are almost through the hardest year our family has ever faced together as we deal with my brother's death.
• I went through a real spiritual dry spell for about 18 months- and I'm coming out of it to bask in God's love for me. It's pretty awesome.
  
• I know my Father will give me the strength to deal with all that He's given me.
  

Peace to you~