it's a shame...

that i need this space. that i don't feel like i can just be me and share openly. but i don't feel that i can. there isn't one person in my life right now, apart from my husband, that i am able to speak freely with... and sometimes, he just doesn't get it (am i supposed to say "bless his heart" here?).

Pssst... i have a "real" blog... another one where life is mostly happy and sunny and i wax poetic quite a bit. but here's our secret... this one is really the "real" one. i have spent the past two days depressed and full of anxiety. i've tried repeatedly to get hold of the one friend, other than my husband, that i can talk to. the one that i've been through hell and high water with... and our friendship has survived for the most part. but he's busy with his life. i've tried calling, texting, emailing, and skyping... don't know what else to do. and i don't want to enter the stalker category... so instead, i'll create a new email address, a new identity, and a new blog so that i have a place in this world where i can be me and not be worried about someone finding out how i really feel and deciding that i should feel differently than i do. i can write and not worry. i guess that's it for now. i'll be back.

P.S. I hate women's ministry!

Originally written October 7, 2008